Bonus: concept of compensation

Let me tell you about compensation. Compensation is this thing produced by pride and shown as the only way to survive and keep your face when something just hit you in the head. Compensation is this thing that looks indispensable when someone just walked on your pride, spit on it and buried it somewhere else.

Compensation is showing to the world every teeth of your mouth the most hours of the day possible. It’s showing you’re literally beaming and oozing positivity from every pore of your skin. You are, you inspire and you breathe confidence. This is truly an admirative process as you voluntary push away any negativity to look as if everything was the way it was meant to be.
It’s a bit of a tiring process as it is literally an act. If you’re good at playacting, this is the perfect scenario for you; the hardest part is knowing this smile is produced as a counter-reaction. You’re far from being thrilled inside but you make a point of honour to show that every aspect of your life is the best that ever happened and you make sure others know it too.

I mean, technically it does work. It does ease your mind and you are doped with some hyperactivity that makes you want to do the coolest stuff on Earth. Cycling 200km for 10 hours? Easy! Travelling and having fun? Done! Looking awesome and going out? Yep!

And then, when you’re done with your act for the day, you can go back home, remove your daily costume and feel shallow as fuck. But it doesn’t matter, you kept your face and tried to regain this unjustified pride you’ve been cultivating religiously these last years. You fake it till you make it.

People do it every day, keeping a straight face and looking perfectly unaffected after life just slapped them in the face. It’s natural, a kind of defense mechanism as some would collapse on the floor, cry for once and move on. The only problem is that it is a long-term ‘solution’ and there this very risk of eventually falling and getting smashed on the floor like a glass thrown from a 3-storey building.
It does feel like a good way to avoid being this inefficient emotional wreck but it might be costly at the end if you’re not able to sustain this very long play. Plus, it is a tiring and energy consuming daily effort. まあいいか 。

Kyoto 50

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